From singing in the rain to yearning for the “simpler” times of the 1950s, there are a whole lot of people out there who have a very flowery idea of things and time periods that just happen to have great public relations. So it’s sometimes for one’s own good to have your illusions shattered.

Someone asked “What’s something people romanticize but it’s actually horrible?” and people shared their most poignant examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts and experiences below.

#1

Baby gender reveals. Just pretentious status and attention chasing that is unnecessary to be separate and additional to a baby shower.

Image credits: c10bbersaurus

#2

Traditional-looking religions like Amish and Old-School Mennonites. “Imagine living such a simple life! So family focused. So grounded in community. None of the distractions of modern life. ”

And yeah. There are some benefits. But in reality most of these communities are incredibly controlling. Their members don’t know how to live life in the real world, and this is leveraged against them by threatening to expel people from the community if they don’t do what is expected. It is especially oppressive for women, who are expected to obey their husbands and their pastors, have lots of kids, and keep their mouths shut.

Source – my background is Holdeman Mennonite.

Image credits: Logical-Pop-458

#3

The Kardashians.

#4

Homeschooling your children.

Children are supposed to mix with other children.

Image credits: Apple2727

#5

Staying in a relationship “for the kids” totally ignoring the trauma those kids deal with seeing a toxic abusive relationship.

Image credits: PhariseeHunter46

#6

“Hustle” culture. The “I work so hard I’m making so much money” but what I see is you have no life and only feel worthy if you have money and material things.

Image credits: theamazingloki

#7

War.

haver_of_friends:
My dad told me when I was younger that if I ever wanted to join the military, he’d make me watch Saving Private Ryan. Well, I never enlisted, so he never made me watch it, but I ended up watching it on my own for the first time last week at 25.
Bro, that seen where the German slowly stabs Pvt Mellish in the heart while Upham cries in the stairwell, had to be the most disturbing and emotionally upsetting depiction of war that I’ve seen so far in my life. And to think that people glamorize that lifestyle baffles me.

Image credits: sammyasher

#8

The “bad boy” trope. There’s this tendency for people to glorify dysfunction and romanticise an unhealthy imbalance of impulsiveness, aggression and emotional unavailability. But it’s extremely toxic and unsalvageable.

Image credits: reigndrops17

#9

Fighting for someone’s love.

Nah. No means no, there is no such thing as “hard to get”.

Image credits: Raigheb

#10

Constantly being the bigger person to a person who continually disrespects you. It is like slowly drinking poison, it changes your heart for the worse.

plaincoldtofu:
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Either your soul dies slowly as you try to act as the adult to someone who is emotionally a toddler, or you spend your time punching back like you’re getting bullied on a school yard. It seems best to just get out of the situation once you realize the dynamic.

Image credits: Purple_Love_797

#11

Criminals of any kind through pop culture.

rawr_Im_a_duck:
There’s a whole community of mostly teenage girls who have full on crushes and obsessions with school shooters. Supposedly a lot of them receive “fan mail”.

Image credits: anon

#12

Stalking, “he likes you, isn’t that sweet?” No it’s not. It’s incredibly creepy and terrifying to have someone watch your every move. 

Image credits: Hinky-punk

#13

Grand public proposals.

Sheilahasaname:
My ex did this. It was so humiliating, terrifying, and traumatising. He essentially coerced me out of a plane by buying me a skydiving ticket. I'm terrified of heights. Some stuff went wrong and by the time I ended up back at the sight, he had a big sign laid out and hundreds of people watching. I was crying, but not because I was happy.

isthatabingo:
It isn’t bad if they’ve discussed it ahead of time and the one being proposed to has said they are ok with a public proposal. Anyone who proposes to someone without discussing it before hand is stupid imo, and doing it in public not only embarrasses their significant other, but themselves.

Image credits: Huge-Income3313

#14

Any sensationalized mental illness/learning disability. Depression, anxiety, autism, people are getting cute about schizophrenia now.

This isn't 'quirk'. It's lifelong.

Image credits: ratskips

#15

I'd say the mob. It's interesting and people talk about the loyalty and "secret society" cool ness of it.
But the reality is most of them were a bunch of greedy sociopaths.

not_today_mr:
The mob and gang life in general. Don't people know how dangerous it is in the first place to them and their friends and family.

Image credits: RipAgile1088

#16

Living in other eras throughout history (in particular medieval times), people who fantasise about this seem to think they would have been a wealthy lord or a noble knight rescuing hot maidens every week, when in reality 99% chance they would have been a poor, illiterate peasant working 16 hours a day just to feed themselves and their family before dying from diarrhea aged 40.

#17

**Gender Reveal**

**Public Proposal**

**Vloggers or anyone filming certain people (especially servers) without asking permission**

**Social Experiment** – especially one that requires helping others.

Image credits: Fancy_Ask_2767

#18

“I would love to just own and operate a little bar/restaurant/cafe/bakery/tavern and make enough to get by in a little town”

-this is exclusively stated by people who have NEVER worked in a bar/restaurant/cafe/bakery/tavern, and almost certainly not a little one in a little town.

The most failing businesses on the planet are hospitality + F&B for a reason.

Image credits: Ripfengor

#19

S*x on the beach. Sand's gets everywhere!!!

ninazo96:
I don't like shower sex either. Friction is not fun for the lady bits.

#20

Joker and Harley Quinn couple. I seen so many people think they were in love and not realizing that it was an abusive relationship.

Prestigious_Kale8839:
So much this. If you want a fictional couple to emulate, try Gomez and Morticia.

Image credits: SilverWolfIMHP76

#21

When a community bands together to help someone out with their medical bills, or workers donate vacation days so a colleague can take time to recover from illness. Nice that they’re doing it, and appalling that they should have to.

spudzilla:
Even worse are the stories of kids running lemonade stands or mowing lawns to help raise money. Child labor! Yay, America!

Image credits: bshaddo

#22

Pregnancy and childbirth. Some parts are great but holy S**T.

Image credits: napalmnacey

#23

Working a “brag worthy” amount of hours a week, particularly if one is salary. No one is impressed, and perpetuating that as a standard is evil.

Image credits: -Dixieflatline

#24

Open Marriage – Most guys want to open their marriage until their wife is getting unlimited offers and he sits at home alone watching porn. The wife never wanted to be open, but then his offer lets the genie out of the bottle and the trick is on him!

Image credits: anon

#25

Being stuck in the past in the name of custom, ritual and culture.

#26

Cruises. Overcrowded pools, long lines everywhere you go, motion sickness, the restroom in my cabin smelled like p**s for some reason, the cabin was so tiny I got claustrophobic, Thalassaphobia of being out in the middle of the ocean where if you fell no one would see you again, ports were usually packed with people trying to scam you because you’re a tourist, and to top it all off my son and I were stricken by norovirus and then covid on our last day.

My husband wants to go on another cruise and I told him I’m not coming.

#27

Possessiveness and overprotectiveness. It's restricting, not cute.

theemmyk:

I always thought jealousy from a man would be so romantic until I actually experienced it. It was so unattractive. I guess it's the insecurity that is a turn-off…?

Image credits: Gloomy_Delay536

#28

Alcoholism. Every single manly movie whether it be a western, a spy movie, a period piece, etc. always has the protagonist sipping on something strong. Plot armor gives characters incredible tolerance the likes of which should send them begging for a toilet to expel their liquor sh**s or puke. There’s nothing glorious about being an alcoholic.

#29

Being a woman in the 1950s. It’s been romanticized by the trad wives, but it was a boring existence for too many. Once a month card club was the big highlight.

Image credits: MamaLeet

#30

The Mafia. They are just low life scumbags. No, they don’t have a code of honor, they have been ratting each other out since the beginning. No, they never had rules against selling d***s, they have been selling them since the 20s. No, they don’t live glamorous lives, even the high ups, for the most part, live ordinary lives. Nothing that is portrayed in the movies is correct.

Image credits: lespaulstrat2

#31

Eating Disorders (specifically restrictive ones where a person is thin).

Not fun. -100000/10. It’s a mental illness not “self control goals”.

Image credits: fluffycooki3_monster

#32

Moving away to a big city. That 2 hour commute to work is not cute and glamorous.

Image credits: saintscoob

#33

Working in the film industry.

adknight11:
One of my good friends worked as a Production Assistant for years down in Atlanta and I couldn’t believe how crazy her schedule was. On top of that, the story she has of some film stars who were absolutely horrid to work with. She’s happily staying at home with her baby boy now.

Image credits: Lupinyonder

#34

Freaking ADHD/ADD. It takes me twice as long to get something done compared to my peers. From the moment I wake up, I have a song stuck in a loop in my head – alongside like 50 other tabs. I’ve had crying fits at work due to rejection sensitive dysphoria, or fire alarms going off unexpectedly. My ability to retain information regarding something I’m not genuinely interested in is nigh. I have to remind myself not to bounce, fidget, or get up from my chair every 5-10 minutes. I have to ask people what they’re saying multiple times due to auditory processing. I struggle to see projects through because my brain branches out to other connections or topics. Etc.
It can be so hard to manage, especially if you didn’t learn how to work with it before you’re navigating the world alone, as an adult.

Image credits: Beautiful-Tree-91

#35

The alpha male creedo. The only people who enjoy alpha males are other alpha males.

#36

Smoking cigarettes. I’m not hating on anyone who does, i vape myself, but its entirely hypocritical to see people who dont smoke praising/romanticizing celebs like Lana Del Rey for smoking while she’s singing during her concert & then go and berate someone regular for it because all of a sudden it’s gross when they’re not famous or hot.

In general, its not a good habit and shouldn’t be romanticized, even with celebrities.

Image credits: mearbearcate

#37

Chronic illness.

Been seeing so many more people on social media thinking they have certain conditions. Like it's almost become trendy to say "oh I think I have Ehlers Danlos and POTS hehee"

I don't know why people think just because you are bendy or double jointed, or have one small weird thing wrong.. that you want to join the club of chronic illness. It's not fun, or cute, or trendy.

Those of us who do have it struggle. Hard. Are gaslit by doctors. Are sick of feeling broken. Are hurting. And want people to take us seriously but now every time I mention my actual diagnosis' to a medical professional (diagnosed YEARS ago) they ask me "do you think you have this because you saw it on tiktok?"

It's frustrating.

#38

This is going to be a hot-take so fair warning.

The whole “living off the grid” life style or the whole “F society, I’m going to live in the woods” mentality.

It is very freaking hard to do in order to maintain said life style and to survive in general.

Image credits: Cheetodude625

#39

Small towns are nice to visit but suffocating to live in.

Smart-Fold7327:
I grew up in a very small town, and it's impacted my growth. The lack of jobs, activities, and essential resources (such as good schools and hospitals) is horrible. I finally was able to move from my hometown, and while I enjoy it, it's been an adjustment. I realized I lack a lot of social skills, technological skills, and even driving skills because the area I grew up in is so isolated.

Image credits: PaintedLady5519

#40

Disney World.

#41

Being backstage at a gig. Take it from a seasoned “band wife” it’s boring, sweaty, and cramped. (Even in bigger stadiums) Loads of waiting around while they do soundchecks and media. The only good thing is the free booze. It’s not all sex, d***s and rock n roll. At all.

Image credits: Lollypop1305

#42

New Years Eve.

F*****g hate it. It's always disappointing.

#43

Pirates!?‍☠️

#44

Living in your car. It’s not fun, there are very few places to park, it can be brutally hot or cold, and you don’t usually have access to proper showers. 

#45

Climbing the corporate ladder.

anonymous:
Just to be on the chopping block when times get tough.

Image credits: csward53

#46

When a male student gets groomed or R-worded by a female teacher and you get people saying that he’s lucky and they wish it happened to them and stuff. I’ve always found that incredibly disturbing.

#47

Romeo and Juliet. If Shakespeare were alive now, he’d be horrified at how his cautionary tale has been twisted.

#48

Being a chef in a restaurant.

#49

100yo+ vampire wooing a teenager

If you have been alive longer than 19 years, don't date teenagers.

IJustTiah-1805:
This will never not be creepy.

Image credits: Suitable_cataclysm

#50

Moving to Los Angeles.

It’s expensive, crowded, and dirty. Also good luck competing with everyone else there for opportunities.

#51

A jealous partner.

#52

Cheating. Yes people do romanticize cheating.

#53

Medieval Royalty.

The fantasy: gowns and lace, beautiful young princesses in chiffon dresses, castles, knights in shining armor.

The reality: brutal mafiosos who lived by murdering anyone who stood in their way, including each other, deadly disease, torture, intensely stupid, illiterate, people whose brains had rotted for lack of use, freezing stone fortifications built to protect the royalty from their own peasants, bandits and casual murder, most women having 6-8 children if they didn’t die in childbirth, constant holy wars.

#54

True crime.

Image credits: alotlikechris

#55

Be a struggling artist. Being poor and have mental health issues aren’t easier just because you’re creative.

#56

Being a college professor. It sounds awesome until you realize all the “service to the institution” tasks you need to do. The fun part of helping young minds and doing research is always on the backburner.

#57

Living in a cabin in the mountains. 90% of people would tap out after the first snow storm that buries the front door and having no power/utilities/service/internet.

#58

Whirlwind romances.

If it’s too good to be true, it really is too good to be true.

doughaway7562:
Took me a bad heartbreak to realize that "crazy chemistry" and "I feel like I know you from a past life" are really just trauma responses :/

Image credits: thesuezcanal

#59

Open floor plans.

#60

Paris.

#61

Sleeping around & hook up culture.

#62

Leave someone at the altar and run away to go be with your “real love”.

#63

Going to any Italian glamours destination (Lake Como, Venice, Rome, Cinque Terre, Amalfi etc) in June/July… you cannot even walk around.

#64

Moving to NYC to live your dreams.

#65

Toxic relationships

In my area I see cars with stickers saying s**t like "she's toxic, but she's mine" or something.

#66

Individualism. We are wired to thrive in connection and asking for help is oftentimes not received as well as it should be.

#67

Those “6 generations in one photo” photos.

There are usually multiple teen pregnancies. Nothing amazing about that.

#68

Addiction, people think it’s like how you see it in the movies, it’s really not.

#69

Communism. While it’s cool and trendy to bash capitalism (yes it’s flawed, but so are humans), there are millions and millions *and millions and millions* of dead Russians, Vietnamese, and Cambodians killed by their own communist governments that should be allowed to enter the chat when it comes to answering idiots that say communism is the answer. It’s truly horrible that such established facts are swept under the rug.

As long as humans are involved, there are going to be problems with any system, but those flaws are magnified and allowed to run unchecked under a communist system.

Let’s not forget that Marx was a complete failure as a human, a husband, and also as a father. Not exactly a person whose example and philosophy should be followed.

#70

Really sus age gaps. I don't care if you waited until she was 18, you are still 15 years older, you f*****g lecher.

#71

*Really* old couples.

Maybe it’s sweet and they’ve always been in love OR maybe he was an abusive piece of s**t and grandma couldn’t get a job or bank account to support herself.

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